Best Bum '06...
Mike Phelps...

It's Mike Phelps like who, whomever else did you think
would hit this here pool at your hotel?
Now I know you've heard the rumors and well...
They may very well be true, but I promise President Booth
that that bong hit that I hit at that party was for you...
Took a bullet for the team then went back to the dream
of accomplishing more first place medals
than you'll ever see...
Yes, Me! Mike P, DMK, Drum Machine King,
Drum Machine Fiend...Your team is made of weaklings!
Our missiles are heat seeking and continuously peaking
at the point where yours are barely breathing
It's deceiving coming out the mouths
of these here pre-teen, prima donna, US Weekly freak-lings
But of course you love the abs!
But do you know Mike the man?
The man behind the mask?
Behind the Speedo cap...
Underneath the fame and the glory and all that...
Like way back at the pool at my 3rd grade YMCA
when I didn't have my own lap lane
and a kick board was a luxury...
Until one day I just luckily said 'Fuck these dweebs!
I'm Super Geek on these heebs!
Man they can't keep up with me...
My races are straight epiphanies...
Two and a half minute symphonies with more
Precision and Symmetry than a 2010 Infinity
Cuz Infinity to me makes
Trigonometry look like Misogyny!
There's no dodging me when I'm locked in
All you'll ever do is follow me
It doesn't bother me that you're bothered by me...
Of course you should be!
I'm an Olympic Instant O.G.
Mike Phelps, stealth, wealth like none else
Beats to the Rhymes to the Grind:
Top shelf hot spells flaring up fast in your eardrum
Want your lunch money taken, Kevin Bacon? G'head...
C'mon over here son....I've got a little something for ya...
It ain't exactly cash, but it was a quarter...
Now that I snatched my half (call it 'Mule Tax')
I gots ta hit the border...
Big Money's got his swag back
Best Bum '06 in this bitch and all that
Ex Boy no longer...
His new kitty cat's wearing his ball cap....Who's that?
Oh my god! Is that Ms. America???
Every time we hit the clubs it sets off a mass hysteria!
And she's so choice...so there will be no sharing her...
That whole bros before hoes tome: Esoterica.
This birds the one to take the M to the P
to new heights of ecstasy...
Over this Helias DMK heat
That's already burned up half this beat...
This Michael Phelps Best Bum '06
Toute Suite Type Treat...
For your audio visual and modern day history...
There's been some great Mikes before me but
None of them's sittin' in my seat
Michael Phelps, Best Bum '06,
Check yourself before I wreck yourself!
Cannot be faded...Scientifically Impossible...
World Class, Gold Cup, Muscles so terse it hurts my ass...
Granite Rock...Davinci's David architecture...
Homeward Bound...
Spot you the lead just so I can let you down
The hard way you clown!
Buzzer beater type touch for good measure and
Let your damn coach give you the consolation lecture...
'It's okay Son, that man just isn't like us son....
He's so advanced that no matter how fast you go
He'll still blow by us son...
It's like he's hitting Mach 5 or some sort of Leviathan!
He's so good, It's not fair, All that winning is boring for us!
Seeing one dude dominate the competition
really isn't for us!'
But, oh contrare, mon frere, I dare interject that
My similes and adjectives are more raw
than menthol cigarettes!
And check out the Intellect Emcee
Kickin' that steady, friendly frenzy of
Freshness that's never ending...
Doc S got me transcending...
Helias, Michael Phelps, TDB, DMK, FFS, A-OK!
Yes, So Yes! Cold depths of my soul so blessed...
By the life that I live, the victory, the success
So fuckin' fresh that anything less would be cess!
An inferior state of prowess and consciousness...
Charles Bronson this bitch with a praying mantis-like kiss
Bite the head off my lover, then move on to another...
Cuz when you see Mike McGwire up to bat brother:
Take Cover!
My bones are titanium alloy so
They take no time to recover...
Rampage Jackson dude's rap dreams when
They abruptly discover that I blast fast like few others
Maybe the other Super Mikes...
Those being Jordan, Jackson, Meyers, Schaefermeyer...
Even Vick before he got fired!
You know he'd scaled the mountain but
Had to learn the hard way that life isn't just about him!
And no doubt that got him back in the game...
Lickety-Split...Keeping a good Mike down
can be some hella slippery shit!
Especially teamed up with Tuck...Best Bum of '06...
Ruthless, Intuitive, Goofball Kid fluent in
Takin' care of business like Bachman Turner Superman!
Bullets bouncin' off his pants...
Faster than a freight train and the
Whole world in his hands...
Handles it with care
Since his shit's always been oh so advanced and
does his best to steer clear of all the turbulence...
Even though he can't be shook...
Won't be beat...He'll smash that hook...
Take back the street...Gash the hood and
Freestyle rap for free...
Fendin' off carnivores attackin' me...
Flows so un-composed, yet oh-so-frozen-prose...
Etched into the Cipher...closed in the Ethos...
For like whenever yo! Let's get this goin'...
This Michael Phelps shit we're smokins got me open!
Tearing down mics from Cincy
All the way back to Oakland and
Playing Mike's bangers down in L.A. by the ocean...
Heaters so sweat that they leave your tape deck soakin'
and a couple jealous competitors hella chokin'...
Bulls-eye on my back got to keep those haters hopin'
that they see me fall
But that's inconceivable cuz
Dr. P puts the Be in Unbelievable!
Best Bum '06, Mike Phelps...like this...
Doc S: So Sweat....
Ex Files: Best Yet!

Best Bum '06
Mike Phelps...
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Best Bum '06...
Mike Phelps...
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