TDB:
The first morning of my honeymoon
7 a.m., New Years Weekend,
We'd just arrived the last evenin' at
Our friends condo in Lincoln City, Oregon when
The celly starts beepin'...
As I roll out of bed I check the clock and start thinkin'
'Who would call me right then?
All my friends like to sleep in...
They must have been up all night drinkin'...
Jonathan's on the other end practically shriekin',
"Dude, I've got great news, You'll never believe it!"
'Oh yeah?'
"Bet! This shit's so insane...Helias got detained...
For sayin' Shoe Bomb on a plane!"
'Say What???'
"Yeah, when I dropped him off he was so gone,
Before the take off he asks the stewardess..."
'ARE YOU THE ONE WHO CHECKS FOR SHOE BOMBS?'
'No way!'
"Yes way! Like straight out of a movie...
Now 2 news crews are on their way to
Interview me for tv!"
'Paparazzi?' "Yahtzee! Yahtzee! This'll be great publicity!
Think of all the Infamy!"
'Saying bomb on a plane that's not insane...it's lame..'
(then I pinched myself, but I felt pain)
I exclaimed, 'Jon in no way is any of this okay...
I'd say the best thing we can do for the DMK is pray...'
And then I prayed:
'Dear Lord please show him the way and
Let him know that he is beloved and safe...'
And as my heart sank deep into the realization that
My friend might be on a
One Way Guantanamo Bay Vacation
I bought a case of Tecates to alleviate frustration
Went back to my new wife and
Tried hard not to hate him....

Johnny Lojic:
So long...Goodbye...
Please don't leave my side...
I'll be what you need...
So don't leave....Don't leave...

TDB:
Loneliness...Being blitzed and the only kiss you get is
The silver tip of a milk chocolate tit...
And your 401k hints that life is a glitch...
All the times it promised bliss their were ulterior twists
Cuz, that's what you get runnin' with journalists who
Tell you to make a wish than do the old bait and switch...
like: Been West...that dude's just a mix of
Opportunist and Bitch...
That's rich, yeah, like his bank account slips!
He sips Mint Julips while clockin' checks off Mike's obit
Then that's it...call his crib and you hear the familiar click
Of his 'ignore button' flick...i.e. 'Suck My Candle Wick!'
Fuck This! That clit never balanced the risk of
Being DJ Lojic and The Messenger Catalyst!
I prattle this for Penn Station's #1 Sandwich Artist...
The one who farted fifths sweeter than a
Case of Sunkists and oozed confidence
Even when the dumb dicks told him to take a risk and
Turn his back on Booth and Big Fish...
To do the Indyground Shuffle with
Steady P as Tenacious Da Terrorist....
Playing themselves like kids in Abercrombie and Fitch...
Looking more 'wigger rich' than funky and kitsch...
But that's Pure Misery, forever felchin' that fist up
The enema of the great state of Analyze This...
Takin' hits off the pif and slugs of the Kris...
Head fulla Alleze like Valet in '06 or
'Get On That Mama' with Abe the Babe and
Billy Ray Stylist...Fuckin' Billy Ray Stylist!

All the lonely people...
Where do they all go?
All them lonely people...
Lost within their soul...
All those lonely people...
I hear them moan and groan...
Why don't they know that evil is
Just loss of control?

Johnny Lojic:
So long...Goodbye...
Please don't leave my side...
I'll be what you need...
So don't leave...Don't leave....

TDB:
Rest In Peace:
Eric Jones, Phil Frisella, Dale Wetland,
Myra and Abby Cutsforth, Emily Seitz,
Chris Cadey, Brian Huoy, Meyer Anderson,
Katt Davis, Toast Rockwell, Tim Colley,
Helias...and all my past relationships...
All my past relationships....